Sale Overview: 01.24 – 01.27

Summary

Period: 24th to 27th of January, 2017
Skins: Sad Robot Amumu, Gentleman Gnar, Spellthief Lux and Leprechaun Veigar
Champions: Bard, Riven, Shyvana and Udyr
Discount: 50%

Introduction: Breaking the Routine

“Why, oh, why, oh, why? Every waking hour is the same and, of course, I can’t sleep. Apparently someone thought that was a perk.” The robot finished checking the lower deck and moved upward to each deck in succession. He was in ‘Level 1’ and he only had to make his way to ‘Level 100’ before his job was done for that round; then he had to start again downwards. “What an exciting job, checking pressure meters and adjusting valves. Good thing there are only 5437 pressure meters and 6682 valves. They couldn’t have one valve per meter that would be too simple. I have to balance the valves depending on the distance to the meters. Good thing they don’t want me to get bored.”

In spite of his constant lament it only took the robot an hour to finish his round. The frequency was often enough that pressure seldom registered abnormalities so adjustments were often small though “significantly relevant”; according to what the Ordinance robot would preach. He, obviously, had another view on the whole matter. “Wonderful, another round done only seven more before the day ends. What joy to know that tomorrow I’ll be doing the exact same thing. I think I’m going to cry out of sheer happiness: how could I be so fortunate to have such a valuable life? Is it too long for my expiry date?”

Actually, it wasn’t. Once the day was over another, identical robot appeared and took his place. “Pressure checker TWZC-1032 taking your place. Please report to maintenance section. I’m so excited about my first day on the job.” “By the last one you’ll be happily walking to your death.” He walked to maintenance slowly. “All that I needed to make my life better: maintenance. Why don’t they call it slaughter-section? At least it would be realistic. Humans and their euphemisms, I could tell them a thing or two about meanings. They don’t know even the half of semantics they think they do with their wet, grey sponges.”

“I’d be glad to hear your opinions, CTE-970, but we must leave.” “How do you know my name?” The robot stared at a tiny, furry, black-suited being inspecting him. His dignified air took him aback for a moment but only for that long. “Excellent, a posh interlocutor for the discerning robot. I feel so special.” A shadow appeared beside the creature. “Path cleared, we should go now.” From the voice the robot identified the shadow as a woman; probably human from the intonation. His eyes still stayed on the glowing stick on her hand; probably a carbine.

“Come, I’m sure you’ll find our company much richer than the scraps of the junk heap.”, he bowed to indicate the way. “This way, careful with the bodies.”, she smiled with glee. “Marvellous, me sure that I could finally get some rest and now this! The indignity of not even having been introduced properly. What next? Plots cooked by your dank, washed-out sponges? I protest to this treatment.”

“I can take you in pieces inside a bag. Most of you, at least. How about it?” “I’m walking, I’m walking, see my feet exchanging places in a sequential way? That’s walking in case you didn’t know. Such behaviour, no respect, no manners. And to think that they are strangers on top of this shady business. My day just couldn’t have gotten any better.” Actually, that last sentence was probably the least sarcastic thing he had said in the last twelve years; unbeknownst to him, of course.

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Source: League of Legends News: Champion and Skin Sale: 01.24 – 01.27